These song lyrics seriously define my life so perfectly.
I know it's just another over played Taylor Swift song , but seriously swifty has it correct!
I'm truly happy with life and how it's going right now, but I can't help but feel lonely sometimes. That's the sad thing. I seriously have some of the best friends a girl could ask for but sometimes I just feel content like... not overly happy but not overly sad either.
I miss my old friends. Obviously there are a few I could give two shits about , however there's two who will always hold a special place in my heart. I seriously have had some of the best moments and times with these people. I will not mention their names here or anywhere else . But I will always be forever grateful to them for teaching me to take every opportunity life hands to you and to always be bold and courageous.
Let's give them pretend names so that I can explain this easier, hmm okay so Tori and Jayden.
Tori , till this day I can honestly call my soul mate Which says a lot, considering we are not close anymore.This person knows my deepest darkest secret that I have never really uttered to anyone else and she understood me like no one ever has. Its's weird cause, I always find memorabilia and notes randomly in my room from her and I get such bad nostalgia. Till this day I have never found that same friendship. It's sad. The falling out , was one of the worst falling outs I have ever experienced. It sucked and I would never put myself in that kind of position again! That whole friendship became so toxic and overwhelming that we both just gave up. I'm so proud of her though, she's gone to do such great things in life that I know for a fact she wouldn't have done if we were still friends. I was really selfish and controlling throughout our whole friendship, and I know that sorta kept her back from doing some of the things she liked ! I'm not bitter about it anymore though. I'm seriously so happy and excited for her and her future en-devours We still keep in touch all the time is which good!
With Jayden, things kinda just went south very unexpectedly. So i'll just keep it short and sweet. I miss her a lot. Our friendships had ups and downs and consisted of a lot of hurdles but in the end she was such a good friend to me. The falling out was quick and unexpected. At first I felt fine , but as time went by I realized that I had actually lost a good friend. I have no means of knowing how she's doing , because we completely cut each other out and have not talked in almost a year now. Sometimes I think that's for the best though. However I really do hope she's fine and that she's been able to overcome her adversities.
Sometimes I wish I could have one day of the week to go back in time and just relive the crazy and fun moments I had with these people. They understood me so well and I shared a unique bond with each individual which I will never be able to share with another human being.
As I have said before and will continue to say , I love the friends that I have now. I'm sure if we ever had a falling out ( WHICH I PRAY WILL NEVER HAPPEN) , I would be writing about the wonderful friendship I shared with each of them as well. They too have been so good to me and some are like sisters to me who I will never be able to thank enough for always being there for me. They make up the " HAPPY AND FREE" part of the lyrics , which at the end of the day always defeats the " confused and lonely". I will always be forever grateful for those I have been graciously blessed with.
It's kinda funny cause the people who know me well enough will be able to decode all the code names. But whatevs.
& WITH THAT I LEAVE YOU WITH ED SHEERAN & HIS WORDS OF WISDOM.
XO.
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